Learning to Let Go

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A typical morning for me is to wake up, and get Kingston ready for school. It sounds easy, but it is honestly the biggest headache ever. He doesn’t listen half of the time because of his Nintendo DS, which I usually snatch away from him. I know, I’m such a mean mom, *rolls eyes*. He partially cries / begs to watch a movie while he gets ready, but he never can decide on which one to watch. By this time I am over it. JUST PICK A FREAKING MOVIE,  that’s how I feel most of the time. Okay, bath time, oh gosh bath time. He doesn’t believe me when I say it’s “just soap”, in his mind he thinks it’s some kind of poop that dinosaurs dropped in the tub and he doesn’t want it to touch him. By this time, I’m very over it. IT’S JUST SOAP!!!! OK, calm down, calm down he’s just being a cute, annoying , average toddler. Breakfast, eh….oatmeal is his first choice. Then it is cereal, “I want cereal!” Of course we are out of milk and it is the end of the world for him. Gosh just eat the dang oatmeal. By this time, I am SO over it. I have a slight grudge towards that Nintendo DS because when I say Kingston over 5 times, and he doesn’t pick his head up one time, I just want to immediately take the DS and throw it away. No, usually when he leaves it, I tend to grab it and lay it. Okay, it can be addicting but still. You get what I’m saying. Now he’s all ready for school. And I start to hate it. No matter how much he irks my nerves, he’s my heart. My baby boy isn’t such a baby anymore. I never know what to expect when he leaves me. This world is so cold , and it frustrates me. I want to protect my son forever , but sometimes I won’t be there and that is what I struggle with every day. Being a mother is my job, and I don’t want to lose this job. But in order to do this job, I have to trust my Father. I have to trust that my Father will cover my son in his arms and protect Him from the enemies outside. Getting Kingston ready for school has helped me spiritually to start giving things over to God. I can’t do it all by myself, and God will never let me. Not saying I don’t still struggle in this area, I can say God doesn’t lie. God is real. And when you ask for help, He will do that and more.

 

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